Am I Lovable?

Why do we love someone else? What makes us do that?

While we constantly crib about the fact that no one loves me, how much thought we give about why would someone do it. What is so special or what have I done to make me worthy of affection.

Let’s take a look at examples close by.

All of us love and adore our children, Why?

1. They are made by nature that way. Cute little faces, tiny hands and feet, speech that makes you smile and a smile that just melts your heart like ice cream.
2. They never lie. Say things as they are. You can trust them.
3. You feel strong and they look vulnerable – physically and emotionally. One feels like its their duty and God’s will to protect them.
4. If they like you they like you from their heart. If they don’t they will make it obvious with reasons. If you can improve and change you can be their friend.
5. They never hold anything for a long time. One moment they will fight and the next moment they will be ready to play and laugh and run with you.
6. They know nothing about jealousy, greed, hatred, contempt. We call it innocence but isn’t it natural for us to feel that way. If you really look at it these are absolutely unnecessary appendages to our mind.
7. They are always ready to take help as they are always ready to offer it.

As we grow up we loose many of these simple yet powerful reasons so people can adore and like us. The worst part is that instead of consciously working on making ourselves child like we do just the opposite. In the name of growing up and being worldly wise we do everything that we do not want others to. And then we complain.

If you carefully observe a large part of the responsibility even power to make people love us lies with us.

1. We hate everyone around us and then wonder why it’s coming back.
2. Look at others with deceit and contempt. Lie at the drop of a hat.
3. Do not want to take help. Do not want to give it either.
4. In marriage we treat our partner with disrespect. Hurt to the extent of being revengeful. Take each other for granted.
5. Hold our feelings as if it is the most important thing to die with a negative emotion or may be it helps you to live longer. Absolutely Wrong.
6. Ridicule, Gossip and Make Fun to alleviate our own insecurity.
7. Blame others to hide our guilt.
8. Almost never use our heart. The tiny calculator keeps working non stop even if it is the closest of relationship.

I have two angles in my life, actually my lifeline and I have been observing their behavior with us, with others and with each other. What I have found is that whatever they do, they do it with spontaneity, with a natural flow. They are so happy with themselves that you want to enter their world to forget what you have been doing to others or what others have been doing to you.

I have come to realize that it is a mechanism that nature has adopted to ensure growth of species since we can observe a similar behavior in almost all other life forms. If it was not so we would have competed with our own off springs.

Just as you need to be employable to be employed, you need to be lovable to be loved.

So next time you feel that you are getting a raw deal or why no one really loves you ask yourself a question – Am I lovable ?

I am working on it and it’s not that difficult. Trust me.