Hold me now

Hold me now
Please don't let me go
I have waited so long
And I think that you know

It's like a dream
A dream I have dreamed many times
Holding you in my arms
Knowing that you are alive

I was so tired of longing
And now you are here
But you may need to go soon
That is my greatest fear

It could be a few minutes
It might be for days
It could be years
Or seconds away

So just hold me close
Near to your heart
Even a few moments with you
May just be enough

I Want You to Fuck Me

I realized i failed at being erotic, so i wrote this monstrosity to be more blunt, yet quite amusing, not vulgar like it had the potential to become.

I don't need artistic and stylish words

To tell you that I want you to fuck me

I mean, dammit, you should know

You're fucking sexy, sensual and juicy

And I can't help but want you

Just hold me down and fuck me

As much as you want

Just one look at you

Makes me aroused than I can bear

I'll lock myself in my room

And take care of it myself

Though it's your responsibility

Gone and made me wet?

I'll let it slide this time

But, whether you like it or not,

Someday, I'll get you

And I'll fuck you and I guarantee

You'll never forget it

My Heart

Somebody ask me
Whats wrong ?
So I can pour out my heart

That has been ever so accustomed to swell up

Why shouldn't it?

I've worn it on my sleeve for too long

For it is bloody and bruised 

And has been through too much

And its worn and torn

And has made me tough

Love has tangled itself up

In this mess of my swelling heart
And I couldn't ask for anything more
For this love is whats keeping me sane at any given moment

And this love, its so strong I just can't let it go
This exspression of overflowing emotion 

Has become too much

People around me don't think I'm so tough
For they see my heart fading

My pulse going out
Its finally all gotten to be too much

कहो तो सुना दूं मैं दिल की कहानी

कहो तो सुना दूं मैं दिल की कहानी
कहूँ कुछ नयन से, कहूँ कुछ ज़बानी

यह दों लाइन मैंने  फ़ेसबुक पर पढ़ी तो सोचा के कुछ मैं भी कहूँ -

कहो तो सुना दूं मैं दिल की कहानी
कहूँ कुछ नयन से, कहूँ कुछ ज़बानी
थोड़े से आंसू है, थोड़ी परेशानी
कहो तुम को दिखला दूं मैं जिंदगानी
टूटा हुआ दिल है, मंजिल है अनजानी
कुछ बिखरी यादें हैं, उसकी निशानी
वो जज्बाती लम्हे, साथ उसकी जवानी
भूला नहीं हूँ, वो शामें मस्तानी
तेरा साथ था, खून में थी रवानी
मेरा दिल तेरा था, तू थी मेरी दीवानी
बस अब कहूँगा नहीं कुछ भी आगे
दुनिया हो गयी है बहुत ही सायानी
कहो तो सुना दूं मैं दिल की कहानी
कहूँ कुछ नयन से, कहूँ कुछ ज़बानी...

तुमने भी तो

तुमने भी तो
मेरी तरह ही
जीवन की दौड़ में
बहुत फ़ासले
तय किए होंगे

तुमने भी तो
मेरी तरह ही
कल के साए
आज की स्याही में
दफ़ना दिए होंगे

तुमने भी तो
मेरी तरह ही
स्याह हुआ
मेरा अक्स
दिल के आईने में
अब देखा नही होगा

तुमने भी तो
मेरी तरह ही
हुमारी दोस्ती की
किताब पर बुना
मकड़ी का जाला
हटाया नहीं होगा

और

मेरी तरह ही
तुमने भी तो
पलट कर कभी
उस दरख़्त को
नही देखा होगा
जो दिल के कोने में
मायूस और तनहा खड़ा है
टूटी ज़ख़्मी उसकी दीवारें
आज भी हमारे
दोस्ती के दिनों को
अपने आगोश में समेटे खड़ी हैं

तुम्हे शायद याद हो

उस दरख़्त पर कभी
हुमारी दोस्ती के बीज से 
मीठे फल हुआ करते थे
आज वहाँ बरगद का
एक सूखा सा ठूँथ खड़ा है....

क्या पेश करूँ?

दिल अपना पेश करूँ
या जान अपनी पेश करूँ
हालात  अपने पेश करूँ
या कोई नगमा-ए-जज़्बात
तुझे पेश करूँ
पता तो चले कुछ
क्या पसंद है तुझको
ताकि फ़िर चीज़ वही
दिलनवाज़ तुझे पेश करूँ
जो तेरे दिल को दुख दे
वो अलफ़ाज़ मालूम नहीं मुझको
क्यूँ न फ़िर तेरे ही कोई
अलफ़ाज़ तुझे पेश करूँ.

Why am i writing ?

I often write words that just comes to me. But, how come everyone writes nowadays? I mean, I am writing a blog! Someone – let’s call her ‘Mysterious Girl’- once said I am the most pathetic, cruel and unromantic person on this planet earth! And why do I have a blog ?
So what is this obsession to write or should I say “expression”? Someone once said, that people write blogs because they want attention and want to be “sexy and get noticed. Really? Since when did writing become attention seeking or noticable or sexy? It’s one of the most mundane and ancient activities. That is what i personally feel.
I think people write to share things they can’t always talk about. They write to find themselves and sometimes to bring down their pain. The thoughts, the feeling, the emotions that they cannot bring to words while talking. So that brings me to, why the need to share? It’s because only when it’s shared, it becomes real.
If something happens to me- death,  life, good, bad, funny, silly, sad, touching- it only appears real when I tell someone about it. And these writings are actually or preferably or mostly shared with the most important person in ones life. At least one person. If I can’t do that, then that experience does not seem real. Like it never happened. Weird? Probably, but that is my reasoning on at least why I am writing.
Other people probably write for other reasons- they actually have something meaningful to say (or think they do), are professionals e.g. authors, poets etc. (I so admire authors! Sexiest profession as per me, second only to travellers- involves travelling, meeting new people, exploring new cultures, traditions and so much more: so masculine, and creativity: so inspirational- what could be sexier and fun? But hey, I digress).
Other people who write probably prefer it to talking, so they write as a way to communicate. While some others write to simply brag.
I do wish however more people would read- not my blog- just in general...people should read more than they write and not the other way round. I don’t think myself as a judgemental person (but then who does, right?). But I REALLY am not one. Except for people who don’t read books. I judge them. I find them boring, shallow and dull.
So if you want to be (or at least appear to be) interesting and thus sexy, go pick up a book. If, not book at least go pick up and read something. Ideally something from the classics or entertainment.
P.S. read my other posts below before judging my writings and poems ;)

Its Not Fair ???

I don't know what to do
You love me and I love you
But somehow you are with him
You say it’s been awhile
And he's serious with you
But do you love him?
Does he love you?
Like I do?
I don't know what to do
I don't want you to feel pressured
But I don't see how it's fair
When you love me
And I love you

I Miss Her

I miss her...
Can she hear my heart calling her?
Can she hear my soul scream?
Can she see the desperation on my face
When she say I won‘t see you again?
Can she feel the tears
That fall like summer rain?
I miss her
I miss the conversations we make
And all the easy laughs
I miss the way we used to sit
And watch the people pass
I miss my best friend
And all the times we had
I miss all the jokes we would make
About the life we persuade and persist
I could talk to her about anything
There weren’t any taboos
I could tell her everything
My deepest secrets she knew
If she ever wonder and think
Let the knowledge ring through
Know that deep within my heart
I miss her... I miss her... I miss her...

अब ऐसे इज्तिरार नहीं है...

तेरे सवालातों की गुज़ारिश हो
और मैं न बताऊँ
अब ऐसे इज्तिरार नहीं है
दिल्दोज़ है मेरा, और कोई बात नहीं है
बेखबर था, के यह बादल बिन बरसे उड़ जाने हैं
नौबहार आया, मगर मेरी काजा में बरसात नहीं है
जब टूट ही गया दिल, तो इन तरानों के क्या मायने हैं
गूंजती है क्यों यह आवाज़, जब कोई साज़ नहीं है
गम-ए-तारीक में तुझको अपना हम्जलीस, क्यों समझूँ ?
तू तो फिर तू है, मेरा साया भी मेरे साथ नहीं है
हयात-ए-इंसान मोहब्बत, एक बार करता है
फिर मुझको ये बता, क्या तू इंसान नहीं है ?
खत्म हुआ मेरा अफसाना, अब आबेचश्म पोछ भी ले
जिस रात में फसनाह हो, आज वो रात नहीं है
मेरे गमगीन होने पर, एहबाब हैं यूँ हैरान
मैं तो जैसे पत्थर हूँ, मेरे सीने में जज़्बात नहीं है...

इज्तिरार - मजबूर/हालात
दिल्दोज़ - ज़ख़्मी दिल
नौबहार - सावन
काजा - किस्मत
गम-ए-तारीक - अंध्रेरा
हम्जलीस - दोस्त
हयात-ए-इंसान - जिंदगी में इंसान
आबेचश्म - आंसू
फसनाह - प्यार/रोमांस
एहबाब - दोस्त
जज़्बात - अरमान

I Seriously Miss You

I miss you
Can you hear my heart calling you?
Can you hear my soul scream?
Can you see the desperation in my face
When you say I won‘t see you again?
Can you feel the tears
That fall like summer rain?
I miss you
I miss the conversation
And all the easy laughs
I miss the way we used to sit
And watch the people pass
I miss my best friend
And all the times we had
I miss all the jokes we’d make
About the latest fad
I could talk to you about anything
There weren’t any taboos
I could tell you everything
My deep-est thoughts you knew
If you ever wonder
Let the knowledge ring through
Know that immersed in my heart
I miss you...

LOVE is not FAIR

I don't know what to do
You like me and I like you
But somehow you’re with him
You say it’s been awhile
And he's serious with you
But do you love him?
Does he love you?
Like I do?
I don't know what to do
I don't want you to feel pressured
But I don't see how it's fair
When you like me
And I like you

So that's why i say

LOVE is not FAIR

Neither to me

Nor to you...

True Love is Really Hard to Find........

I often say to myself that i am going to start looking for love again or will i get a "True Love" again ? But every time same thing happens when i search it without giving it a chance to find me. "True Love" is indeed very hard to find in life, but what i feel is that is because it is not meant to be found. I think i don't have the power to control it when this powerful force of true love came into my life. I feel love is not that kind of emotion. It's wild, exciting, uncontrollable, irresistible, unmanageable, dense, free, frantic, freaking awesome, indocile, indomitable, insuppressible, intractable, irrepressible, lawless, like a loose cannon, mad, obstinate, recalcitrant, strong, savage, uncontainable, undisciplinable, undisciplined, ungovernable, unmanageable, unrestrainable, unruly, violent........ But it wants to find me! That's what make it unique and in form and oh so challenging.

Most of the times when i look for something i never find it. But, when i am NOT looking for it...it seems to be staring at me right there in my face. That is how the cycle of my life works for some odd reasons. Mostly people find love when they are not looking for it or not trying to get it. In most of the movies and love stories, people talk about how they were going about routines in life or business when all of a sudden they happened to meet something whom they ended up being 'the one'. The never went out looking or searching, it just happened by change. I don't feel the same way because it never happened with me.

Again, this True Love can be a powerful force. I strongly feel that it has a mind of its own. Something I believe to be very potent. It really has the power to bring people together in most unlikely situations, but can also tear them apart if jealousy or obsession creeps in. It could bring out the worst and the best in us all, or cause us to do crazy things we didn't image ourselves doing. I seriously don't wanna scare anyone buy I'm sure some of us may have a story or two that we could always sit around and share.

True love had found me once. I met this girl years back, she was so sweet. She would do anything and everything to make me happy, but i was not ready for her. She wanted to build a life long relationship. This girl was so loving and caring and was everything a man could dream of! She seemed to have so much patience with me and how stubborn I was at times that it completely blew me away. I was honestly so stupid at that time. I thought to myself now "How could she put up with me, and manage to stick by my side?" "No matter what i say of do, she never gets mad or argue one bit." Then one day she told me that she really love me a lot. She wanted to marry me, and assumed I felt the same way. During that time something very tragic happened with me and i lost all my confidence and was out of my mind. So i think it was too early for me to accept all this. I was not really ready for all this. All i could say was that i really, really cared for her, but i was not able to commit. Yes, i truly loved her but not "in love." And one day i quit. The worst ever thing i could do to myself was this. I could tell that she was hurt from the tears in her eyes. All i could say was this girl is in love for real. I still feel bad, feel like a criminal, cursed for breaking her heart, but i still don't know was it was the right thing to do or was it not ? because if i had lied saying i felt the same, it would only be pretending which was not fair to her or her heart. But maybe if i would have shared everything with her at that moment and have discussed with her what i was going through might be today my days would have been something else as they are off now. I still sit sometimes all alone and feel and think "Kaash woh mere sath hoti". But no she is gone.  She must have been with me in my life. So, because of my one fault and stupidity i lost my "True Love" and never found it again in my life. Compromising at every step is now a part of my life.

Overall, what i feel is that true love can come when you least expect it. You don't have to go looking for it because it will find you at the right time and at the right place. That is God's plan. Sometimes, it's better to let it find you because if you try to hard, you may find yourself in a fucked up situation. When you become anxious and impatient you end up selling yourself short. Everyone has there own time for love. Don't compare yourself to your friends or your buddies. Take your time and do thing right is what i feel. Go about your life and live it the best way you can. You'll attrach love when you simply do what you need to do and stay focused. But when it does find you, and it will, Smile Brightly inside saying to yourself....."What took you so long, I've been expecting you!".......Much love and remember to keep your faith in your True Love and always "Keep it trustful, erotic, playful, lustful, sexful and SEXIIIIIIII!!!!!"

I Am Yours

Do you want to close your eyes ?
and welcome every new sensation ?
Do you want me to regain
all your strength,to let you dive
in this purely beautiful game...
I am in you and you like every move
I give to serve you.
You are whispering my name
and I soon will end this
far from alright too hard time
you need to slowly cum.
I will welcome
your first tears
your first shivers
as you shout
that all your fears
are forgotten
and at last
you are mine -
and I am yours.

Please Stay

Now you will think that what has happened to me in this very first day of the new year. Have i gone wild,dirty and insane ? So its right here that I’ve been struggling with the muses for years now, and last night I forced myself to mess with words until I had something. It’s not much, but it’s not nothing either. And this first day of this new year is what i felt the right moment to express myself so that this year i would have more dreams - hopefully with....

Fingers too twitchy
to put keys to keyboard
wanting to dig 'deep'
into your flesh
typed with impressions
bruises of grip

Body too tense
to vocalize desire
wanting to pierce
to cum into you
the totality of
my need

Word-deserted
I speak instead
with concussions
The sharp sound
of bodies
in impact

Read what I can’t write
Hear what I can’t say
And stay

Please Stay

The Endless Search

Literally love this poem which i read some tym back.  It comes under erotic poetry and i am seriously a big fan of this kind of erotic writing. Hats off to the poet's vision, thought, the depth over sex, love and eroticness in human life.

Seeing myself as some integral part
of  all that looks to love as a solution,
aching to find significance of the heart
and puzzled by its threatened dissolution.

Trying to preserve the present  wastes
our time and effort.  Change isn’t tradable,
whether  memories  of a lover’s tastes
or  his desire for you,  it’s not evadable.

In our city’s waste of streets and houses
huddling  behind our walls and fences
we miss the presence of  our hoped for spouses
cut off from love by our own  defences.

Yet there’s a need that can not be denied
as each one needs to find a mate
a lover or a mistress from outside,
to end the loneliness of staying celibate.

तेरी गुलाब की पंखुडियां...

आज तक महकती हैं
तेरे दिए गुलाब की कलियाँ
मेरे अंतरंग अंतर्मन में
खुलती हथेलियों में
जब गुलाब की पंखुडियां
अलसाई सी आंख खोलती हैं
तब मदमाती, लहराती,
मदहोश कर जाती 
महकती गुलाब की भीनी सुगंधी सी 
तू आती है
हर सांझ
बनते हैं कई किरदार मेरी कल्पनाओं में
बनते हैं, बिगड़ते हैं
रह जाती है तू
और वही
तेरी गुलाब की पंखुडियां...

उस दिन

उस रोज़
इन गुलाबों की महक यूँ न होगी
तेरी शोख हंसी की खनक यूँ न होगी
ख्वाबों से भरे दो नैनों की चमक यूँ न होगी
तितलियों सा रंग तेरा यूँ न होगा
तेरी मीठी बोली की चहक यूँ न होगी
अल्हड़ इस जवानी की छनक यूँ न होगी
उस दिन
स्याह से सफ़ेद बालों का सफ़र यहाँ होगा
चमकते चेहरे का झुर्रियों से सामना होगा
और यह तेज़ कदम कुछ सुस्त होंगे
उस दिन 
मगर उन झुर्रियों में भी यही नूर होगा
ढलती आँखों में भी इस इश्क का यही सुरूर होगा
शायद यह सपना मेरा तभी आबाद होगा
सांझ ढले मेरे हाथों में तेरा हाथ होगा
तेरा मेरा ये साथ यह अब जन्मों का साथ होगा.....
तेरा मेरा ये साथ यह अब जन्मों का साथ होगा.....

You Taught Me

Just sitting idle and was enjoying reading some poetry. There i came across this poem full of romance and emotions. Rather than i should say some true and very rare emotions that are not found in today's world. I hope that it will make you think about your thinking about love too...

I wanted a mansion once... that is until I met you,
Now the only place I want to live is inside your heart
I once desired diamonds... until I met you,
Now the only sparkle I need comes from within
I used to crave the finest clothing... until I met you,
Now I want not a single thread to separate our bodies
I once coveted a fancy car... until I met you,
Now I want nothing that would put miles between us
I once prayed for money... until I met you,
Now I want none of the things money can buy
I once yearned for a sense of security... until I met you,
Now my only security comes is knowing you are near
I once dreamt of a prestigious job... until I met you,
Now I find my success in knowing that you are happy
I once asked for the world on a silver platter... until I met you,
Now you are my world and I want for nothing but your touch
Loving you has been my teacher; you taught me not to want
Being with you has been my discovery; you are all that I need
Finding you has been my salvation, I now understand grateful
But perhaps of most importantly...
Your love in return has been my everything

- Teresa Weimer -

She - The Source of all inspirations in my life :)

One day i just thought of writing something for her. So just gave it a thought and scribbled something for her. Hope she will like it. I don't know if i am wrong or right but whatever i have written is just from the depth of my heart and its mixed with all those feeling that i felt after she told me the truth. I can't define her in words rather i must say that there are no more words in the dictionary that can define her and her love but just can try by saying this much that she is simply and truly lovable, admirable, angelic, charismatic, inviting, darling, appealing, presentable, flattering, delicious, dreamy, heavenly, lucious, sexy, suave, fascinating, incredible, marvelous, irresistable, prodigious, alluring, classy, delicate, attractive, alarming, graceful, beauteous, gorgeous, pretty, glamorous, devoted, seductive, emotional, skillful, provocative, smart, enchanting, delightful, homely, enjoyable, passionate, rare, subtle, soft, affectionate, respectable, tempting, stunning, astonishing, breathtaking, impressive, magnificent, mind-blowing, wonderful, lovely, pleasing, awesome, ravishing, sentimental, tasty, wondrous, tender, winning, pulchritudinous, cherishing, magnetizing, pleasant, nice, wild, sublime, lusty, worshiped, pleasing, delightful, amazing, adorable, honest, healthy, tolerable, patienceful, splendid, ideal, statuesque, wonderful, .....!!! human personality i would ever know on this earth...don't know what else to write here so ..... the words are less but not the least so that's it for now :)

She is kind
The only angel i can find
She is bold
With that 'Goddess' soul
She is hot
Like a volcanic pot
She is cold
Like those antarctic icey molds 
She is sweet
Like the choclates i eat
She is sour
Like an old wine i love to pour
She has all the salt
That makes me love her without any fault
She is pure addiction
That i can't cure
She has all the beauty
That love can hold
She has all the colors
A rainbow can show
She has all the love
That it needs to grow
She has all the notes
A song can sing
She has all the depth
An ocean can bring
The prettiest feeling
Ever on earth is loving She
The softest cushion
You feel is She
She makes life like
Starry skies with shining moon
Dipped in She's
Shining mesmerizing eyes
The warm tug
Here and there you feel
The power to do and
The power to heel
She becomes
The desire to live
She becomes
The desire to give
The most passionate
Feeling ever on earth
Is the desire to give
And the desire to love you She ?
So 'Love Me' but
With Sincerity, Devotion and Purity
Be your love stand by you and shine
Always remaining
Honest, True and Divine...

Maybe i can't speak this much when she is in front of me and stay speechless but in my scribbles can say a lot more than i can even dream of with open eyes. I can't say anything else now. This just concludes my day for today :)